one time i balled so hard not even i could find me
Yo how did he write this
- Interviewer: You’ve obviously been very busy since the show ended. Do people approach you more for “Arrested” or for something like “Superbad”?
- Michael Cera: More than anything people recognize me from “The Social Network,” which I was not in.
if you’re protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then i want to date you
Disney, please tell me this is some kind of cruel sick joke.
Who remembers these?
#wow man paper clips i sure do have a use for these in my every day six year old life #shit is that a ruler man y’all gettin crazy i’m not even ready to comprehend centimeters #okay those are some nice markers but um they’re not arranged by color and it’s triggering my ocd very early on #oh wait nope i lied about the markers being nice they don’t fucking work at all this is HORSE SHIT you are the roseart of markers #you can’t go wrong with paint right i bet i will draw some SICK people with these #well fuck you too vaguely tinted water that isn’t at all painty #aw colored pencils yiss my big sister uses these now we have something to talk about i am finally COOL #FUCK YOU PENCILS YOU TORE MY GODDAMN COLORING BOOK#nice try oil pastels but mom says i can’t eat you or draw on the walls with you so i kind of have no use for you #crayons don’t even start with me #you don’t even have a brand do you #this is horse shit mom #why can’t you get me a twelve pack of crayola #or SHIT a 64 pack there is no way that a 64 pack would cost more than this come on let’s be real #wait why am i given a stapler #why are you giving a child a stapler #there should be a childrens book about this #’if you give a child a stapler they’re gonna staple their thumb and cry about it for an hour’ #thanks for the safety scissors #my barbies scissor harder than those scissors scissor #and uh. glue that doesn’t…glue…anything. #it doesn’t even taste good #fuck you man fuck you
granddad this is the first dance of my wedding can you please stop trying to tell everyone to ‘open up the pit’
How to break out of a zip-tie- potentially life-saving information
You guys, please share it. You never know when someone is going to need this information.
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.